Just a self-note; Motivation

 

 

Be miserable.

Or motivate yourself.

Whatever has to be done,

it's always your choice.

 

-Wayne Dyer-

 

 

 

Thanks to Mr.Menard (when he told us to find quotes,

I found a real useful site in the process of googling 'good quotes'.

And in the category of 'motivational quotes', I think, I found this one that I have posted up on my desk, and looks at it whenever I feel blue and depressed.

 

Sure, nobody chooses things for me; I am the one who decides.

And staying sad and miserable doesn't result in anything, really.

I finally truely understood that in heart a few hours ago, and

promised myself not to 'break my mental' anymore, at least until this semester ends.

 

What I chose is my responsibility, and whether it is too hard or difficult, petty or annoying I should motivate myself and finish it. Get over such things- and be content that I am a great person, after all.

 

Now I will really concentrate on studying, and for the first time in my life try really really really, incredibly hard and earnestly.

 

 

Salut, stupid and 'mentally weak' me!

Never to see you again(not soon, at least).

 

 

 

 

 

<My Lovely Desk!>  :)

 

 

 

P.S.

Hope more and more people could find hopes and smiles in these

nice and wonderful short sentences.

 

 

Source : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_motivational.html

Depression

                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                             
                                                              ㅡ ㅡ                                                                      
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Depressed.




These days I don't want to do anything much,
and that, I believe, contributes somewhat unconciously to my sudden lethargy,
and my increased exhaustions of energy.


Like, I sleep roughly the same as I used to do a week ago,
but I am so tired out and is dozing and sleeping all the time.
And that rest doesn't even bring me peace or calm, just a crazy headache and more
anger and bitterness and hatred for the world.


Some might say I am just influenced greatly by puberty, and I won't say no to that.
But right now it's just hard for me, everything is, and I just hope that I don't give up
on anything, including school work( study) or extracurricular activities  I am trying
to achieve- and which, I am seriously wondering if I spread too many traps to catch
things.

Like, what, I don't know.



Just sometimes I feel so depressed and I am all alone
and when I fell in those trances I can't literally do anything but cry.


I definitely know the reason I fell into this state a few days ago,
and it's the worst experiece in my life;
and the worst bit is that I don't know when this depression will end, or will it ever end.



At least there's one good thing though,
as much as I feel miserable and hopeless, I really want to be some help to others,
and give them hope and courage.

So I still am somewhat happy and miserable, and my feelings are a mixed bag.

The mirror of shards (poem)

The mirror of shards

Brotherly love cost two fingers
as he tried to catch some fish
for the four and four hungry little big eyes
the shark ate two and asked for more.

Obviously he fled. Never to be seen.
 


Fatherly love, so soft and volatile
cost a girl's virginity
as the world was too harsh and
for such a pretty little soul
but then he was stabbed and dragged.

By whom i shall never say.




Motherly love, deduced her to buy her girl
a hand mirror
to groom and stay pretty and to love and hate men
or so was i told.

I still remember the night
mother walked home with shards in her hands
blood dripping. dripping. dripping
from her brittle fingers, fingers, fingers.


Moon shawn and the shards glowed bright
and so did her eyes
which had no more, the brilloant warmth, just an emptyness so sharp it stang-
trumble, trumbled and finally tripped did she
with shards splattered on the grass between, me and a dying mother.



Trembling, she lifted her head
whispered
'Its not your fault, love'
and said no more.
And was no more.


Glazed eyes and a cold body
the last companions of a short tragic life.
I picked up a shard, and
i see
her
i see
me

and teardrops
and

and a goodbye.


Combed my hair for the last time-
cost clumps of hair and blood out of my scalf
made my lips wet red and shiny-
cost some iron taste in my mouth
and

made a bracelet for a little girl
too old now to be called little

and as the shard sliced all around my wrist
I closed my eyes and counted-


-Written by Kwan Yu-Ji (a.k.a. Jade)